Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
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