Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
