when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize