Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
