I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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