I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
