I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
