i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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