I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
