ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Welp...herpes.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
