its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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