They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
