hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
