I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
