Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
