69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
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Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
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I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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