When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
