Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
