i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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