your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
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Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.