just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
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If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.