69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
