oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
i think my cat just said my name.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
