Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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