I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just want to make out with him forever
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
