the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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