party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Mom said you looked used
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
