Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
