saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i barfeds in our rink
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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