your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
