I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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