i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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