is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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