I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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