do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
