dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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