apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
