Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
