I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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