don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
