I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize