this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
