your room smells of hookers.
And success
from now on my penis is your penis
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
