I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
