wat bout pragnant strippers??
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
