i barfeds in our rink
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
