singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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