i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
