Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
