Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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