Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
