Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
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One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
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we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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