I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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