i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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