woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
