Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
