...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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