i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
