My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
