ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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