yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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